


Blame It On The Alcohol

by mrs_pennylane



Series: The Gay Adventures of Allen Hynek and Michael Quinn [5]
Category: Project Blue Book (TV)
Genre: Allen is that drunk who won't stop talking, Also more bonding, Drunk Allen, Drunk Michael, Humour, M/M, Michael having some gay panic moments, Michael is the drunk that watches as the other one says and does nonsenses, Swearing, The boys drink a bit more than usual and end up in funny situations, drunk situations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2020-03-07 16:45:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18877159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrs_pennylane/pseuds/mrs_pennylane
Summary: Allen and Michael go out for drinks after a tough case and they get drunk together.





	Blame It On The Alcohol

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thequeenofdrama](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thequeenofdrama/gifts).



> Dedicated to thequeenofdrama since May 18th is her bday! Hope you like it and happy birthday!

Michael knew this was a dumb thing to do - going out for drinks with Allen after the kiss they shared a few weeks ago. They were far too stressed and of course a drink would help, but Michael was also afraid that they would drink too much and do something the professor would regret in the morning.

 _He kissed me back that night, didn’t he? And then he just pulled away as if he had realized he made a huge mistake._ If Michael were to be honest, that had hurt his feelings. He was proud to be a tough cookie but ever since Allen came into his life, he realized he was a lot more sensitive than he thought and that yes, he could fall in love. Easily, madly, deeply. Being rejected by Allen had been a blow to his self esteem.

Right now he tried not to think about that as Allen sat down in front of him with two glasses of beer for them. “You’re so quiet today, Michael.”

“I’m just stressed, that’s all.”

“Well, at least we made out alive. Some of these locals are just…” Allen trailed off and grabbed his beer, taking a sip.

“Can you blame them?”

Allen shrugged and Michael tasted his own beer. To add problem to all of it, Allen seemed to be trying to act as if they hadn’t kissed. It would be a lot more honest if the professor stopped acting like that and actually looked at Michael in the eyes for once. Well, fuck this. He was going to drink until he forgot all about what was happening.

_One beer._

_Two beers._

_Three beers._

Someone put on some jazz music on the jukebox and Michael tapped his fingers on the table to the rhythm of the song. A few people raised to dance to it and Michael watched with a smile a drunk guy hugging his glass of whisky trying to swing from one side to the other while one of his friends tried to take him out of there. Michael finished his beer and looked at Allen who was about to finish his too. “You want another one?”

“I want whisky.”

“Are you sure? After three beers?”

“I’m not a child, Michael.” Allen smirked, a mischievous look on his face. Michael nodded, smirking too.

“Alright, a glass of whisky for you and more beer for me.”

When Michael got up, he felt a little tipsy as he walked towards the bar. He laughed - when had he become weak for booze? Maybe the stress was getting the best of him, after all. The barman acknowledged his presence, ready to fill two more mugs of beer.

“Only one. My friend over there wants a glass of whisky.”

“Sure, sir.” The barman answered, producing a bottle of whisky from behind the counter.

Michael walked back to their table, dodging a few drunk dudes, causing Allen to laugh. He raised his eyebrow at the professor, who grabbed his glass as soon as Michael set in the table. “You are too serious tonight.”

“Like I said, I am a bit stressed.”

“No, you’ve become quiet ever since that case in Texas, when you…”

Michael used the beer to keep his mouth busy and have an excuse not to answer to that statement.

“Well, when you were electrocuted in the car.”

There. Ignoring the fucking elephant in the room _again_ and acting like that was the issue that was bothering Michael.

“I am fine, Allen. Really, you don’t need to worry.” Michael tried to give him his best smile but it fell flat.

“Don’t lie to me, I can read you better than you think.”

_You surely don’t, otherwise you’d have stopped already pretending we didn’t kiss that night and that everything is fine._

“Doc, leave it be.” Michael knew he was also being a coward for not being straightforward with him but after all, Allen was the one who pulled away. Michael would have continued the kiss until he had Allen naked on that bed, panting. But Allen? Noooo. Allen was pretending that the night had ended the moment they arrived at the hotel and went to sleep.

“I will. Only for tonight.” Allen stubbornly replied and the captain rolled his eyes. _Fine_.

_Five more beers for Michael._

_Two more glasses of whiskey for Allen._

“I’m going to the bathroom and I’ll be right back.” Michael didn’t wait for Allen to answer before he got up, the world spinning a little. _Jesus fuck, I am getting old, I barely drank and I’m drunk._ Taking a piss was even harder, he had to close one eye to aim his dick into the toilet and don’t pee all around the floor. Michael giggled once he had secured his member inside of his trousers and went to wash his hands, looking at himself in the mirror. You know when you are drunk and you look at yourself in the mirror and realize that you are shitfaced and that everything seems funny and sounds funny? Yeah, Michael was feeling like that. His hair was slightly disheveled, his cheeks blushed, and he laughed again as the world spun a little.

When Michael came back, he didn’t find Allen on the table. He looked around quickly and found the professor with a group of bikers full of tattoos who were eyeing curiously the bartender while Allen was moving his hands and talking non-stop.

“So you see, there were these strange lights in the sky, really bright and they were flying right above us!” Allen gestured to the ceiling, his hands with only two fingers up making the V formation they had seen weeks prior. He moved his hands, showing how they flew from one direction to another above them. Michael held his breath, fearing Allen would spill the beans about the electrocution Michael suffered in the car. But Allen dropped his arms and concluded, “And that was it. It was very strange.”

The barman looked over to Michael and gestured for him to approach the counter. “Your friend, I think it’s time to take him home. He is telling these strange alien stories ever since you went to the bathroom.”

_How long was I in the bathroom, anyway?_

Michael sighed and walked towards Allen. “Professor, it’s time to go.” His hand found Allen’s elbow and he softly pulled him. “Good night, gentlemen.”

“But I was just -” Allen tried to argue but Michael kept pulling him until they were next to the cashier.

“I think we should call it a night, Allen.”

“I was in the middle of a story.”

“Alien story, they don’t wanna hear that.”

“They sounded interested.”

“Sure.” Michael paid for their bill and guided Allen by his shoulders out of the bar, and into the cold night. The professor shrank back a little, pressing himself to Michael’s chest. Michael had to refrain his instinct from holding Allen close to him and providing the warmth he was seeking. Still, Michael didn’t step away when Allen kept pressing his back to the captain’s chest while he rubbed his arms to add some warmth. “Let’s get into the car, doc.”

“I’m alright.” Allen answered and left Michael’s personal space, walking towards the woods near the bar.

“Where are you going?”

“I thought I saw something there.” Allen kept walking towards the dark place and Michael groaned, following him. “Didn’t you see?!”

“No. Wait, come back in here!” Michael shouted but Allen had already started to run, and he was swallowed by the darkness. “Ahh, fuck!”

The captain ran too, trying to reach Allen before he did something stupid. _As always when he was too curious_. It took a while for Quinn’s eyes to get used to the darkness and he mostly tripped over roots and rocks. “Allen, where are you?”

“Michael?” Called Allen’s voice, a little weak and scared.

“Allen? Allen!” Michael started to feel the sick feeling of panic rising up in his body, trying to find the professor.

“Michael!” Allen shouted and Michael stopped rationalizing. He ran and ran until he reached a place with a small hill leading towards a more dense forest.

“Allen, where are you??”

“Help me!” He heard the professor’s voice calling and recognized as coming from his right, so he ran towards where the noise came.

“I’m coming, Allen!” Michael shouted. _God, bring him back well to me, please_. He controlled the fear and the panic as he neared a tree and saw Allen crouching on the floor, and he lunged forward grabbing the professor by his arms and shoulders. “ARE YOU OKAY??”

The only thing that made him distinguish the doctor in all of the darkness surrounding them was a pair of teeth… smiling. “What the actual fuck??”

Allen was clutching his belly and he was _LAUGHING_. “Oh my God, Michael!”

“Josef Allen Hynek.” Michael felt SO pissed off right now.

“You… You panicked! You should have seen your face!” Allen laughed loudly, trying to control himself but failing.

“Ha ha, very funny, doc.” He ran his hand on his hair to comb it back to its place. “You are a fucking idiot, don’t you ever prank me like that again!”

_And to think I fell in love with this dumbass._

Michael tried to catch his breath while Allen tried to stop laughing of him. It was unnerving to see him there acting as if it didn’t happen for real sometimes, as if Allen didn’t put himself in danger during cases, only to be saved later by him. Michael felt so protective towards him.

Suddenly a strange noise came from behind Allen. “Did you hear that, Michael?!” The professor asked, his smile dropping and his eyes widening.

“That’s not funny, Allen.” Michael rolled his eyes and turned around but what he heard next made him freeze.

“I’m serious, that’s not me.”

“What are you saying it’s not you?”

“I’m not lying, that’s not me.”

“Seriously though, Allen.”

“Seriously.”

There was that moment where they looked at each other for half a second.

And then they both ran as if their lives depended on it - and it truly depended. It was so hard to run drunk and in this freezing cold but Michael put some effort into it. “RUN, ALLEN, RUUUUN!”

“I AM RUNNING!”

“YOU ARE TOO SLOW!”

Michael slowed down a bit to let Allen go in front of him and he all but pushed the professor so he would go faster and they could come back to the safety of their car. Stumble after stumble and finally they got back to the parking lot of the bar. Michael’s head was spinning from all the running and the booze. If he could, he would choke Allen to death for making them go into those fucking woods.

“Fuck.” Allen gasped beside him, his hands holding his weight on his knees. “What the fuck was that?”

“I don’t know!” There was another sound again and Michael was ready to fucking create his own wings and _fly_ away when a rather large yellow cat emerged from the bushes running away from them.

A cat.

A fucking cat.

“What?” He heard Allen’s voice from behind him. They looked at each other and… just burst out laughing. Seriously, a cat? Michael thought this couldn’t get any ridiculous but it did. He couldn’t stop laughing and neither could Allen, both of them clutching their bellies while they tried to stop only to look at each other again, remember how ridiculous all of that was and laugh again.

“The cat must be terrified because jesus, we are the monsters!” Allen said, a tear dropping from his eyes. His face was all red and honestly, despite how angry Michael was from the little idiotic prank, he couldn’t stop thinking how handsome he looked while laughing. It was pathetic and they were laughing way more than normal and Michael didn’t even care.

“Ummm okay, so shall we go?” Michael indicated the car and Allen nodded, finally straightening himself.

The road was empty and dark, and Michael had to keep his eyes wide open so they wouldn’t hit anything. He shouldn’t have drank this much if he was going to drive after but he needed to cool down a bit and forget the things that were bothering him, and Allen was so into drinking tonight. Michael looked to his side to find Allen looking dreamily outside of the car, his curls a bit wild in his head.

“What is it?” He asked.

“There is a place ahead with a Ferris wheel, like a huge one and full of lights.” Allen answered, turning to look at Michael. Michael, in turn, raised one eyebrow.

“A Ferris wheel?”

“Yes, a Ferris wheel.”

“You are not telling me that…”

“I’ve been fascinated by Ferris wheels ever since I was a child.”

“And you wanna go there right now?”

“If it isn’t a problem…” The way Allen said it was unfair, he even pouted. It was definitely impossible for Michael to deny that request, especially when made in such a cute way.

“Fine, we’ll go there.” Michael checked his watch and it was almost 9pm, which surprised him. They had started drinking early and they had gotten shitfaced too early. He signaled a left turn, entering a small road that lead to the entrance of the park.

It wasn’t too crowded and they noticed the Ferris wheel had only a few people waiting on the line. Michael straightened his stance so he wouldn’t appear drunk there in a place full of families and he noticed Allen doing the same, checking his breath. Michael had a mint gum in his pocket and he offered to the professor, who took it with a little smile.

“Thank you.” Allen muttered, sticking the small green gum in his mouth and chewing it slowly.

Michael entered the cabin and sat down, adjusting his clothes. He thought that Allen would take the seat in front of him but instead the man squeezed himself next to Michael, forgetting all about person space. _Yeah, make it harder for me to deal with my feelings._

But while Michael was at least trying to play it cool, Allen had already fallen into the claws of the drunkenness and he was acting silly like Michael always thought he would when properly drunk. Michael stifled a laugh and looked towards the professor, who was looking at the sky fascinated. As usual. Nothing new.

The Ferris wheel started moving up and the vision of the city a few kilometers from the park greeted them, the lights from the houses making the vision look like a second sky full of stars. Michael felt his stomach getting upset by the movement the Ferris wheel was doing and he tried to think of something else other than the slow rising of a puke in the back of his throat.

“Everything looks so beautiful from up above, even the sky.”

Michael didn’t pay enough attention and just laughed softly, lowering his head. _Jesus, I can’t puke._

“Are you paying attention, Michael?”

“Er, no.” It was hard to talk while he was feeling sick like this. “I’m trying not to puke on you.”

“Well, you wouldn’t have that problem if we lived up there in the sky.”

Michael chuckled, “That makes no sense, Allen.”

“I’d love to be that near to the sky more times.”

For some miracle, after a few deep breaths and controlling his stomach, the need to puke died down.

“I can take you up there more, if you want to.” Michael suddenly said. Allen turned to look at him, his eyes so soft and surprised that Michael had to fight with every fiber of his being against the impulse to kiss him, even if just for a moment. _Don’t bury yourself into more trouble, moron._ But was there any limit for the gay depression Michael was submitting himself to? No. Non. Não. Nien.

“I would love to.” Allen softly replied and smiled, and Michael felt his knees go weak. He turned away from the man, trying to look at anywhere but his stupid handsome professor face. “You know, there are 300 sextillion stars in the Universe. Most of them we can’t see naked… Hmm, naked eye, I mean.”

“300 sex… what?” Michael felt as if nothing he was hearing made sense.

With a slurred voice, Allen answered, “Sextillion.”

“I’ve never heard of that.” Facepalm.

"It's 10²¹."

_What?_

“So it’s 21 zeros?!” Michael’s jaw dropped as his brain tried to catch up with the information. He blinked a few times.

"Yes. Well, 23, if you count the other two from 300. So it’s 300 sextillion, 3x10²³."

“Holy shit.”

“Yeah, I knoooow. The Babylonian astronomers of Mesopotamia compiled the earliest known star catalogs, waaaaaay before Christ. But the ancient Egyptians were the first to make an accurate map of the stars at night.”

“How can you remember about these things while you’re drunk?” It was unbelievable. Of course his speech was slurred and he was talking slower but other than that, Allen was sounding like the typical Allen Hynek. Like a fucking genius as usual. Even drunk. It was unfair.

Allen shrugged, smiling. He continued to look up to the sky and Michael was wondering exactly what he was thinking now, his eyes lost in thought. It was nice to see him under the moonlight, when his blue eyes were even more blue and his dark hair glowed. Michael sighed, feeling his heart growing bigger and bigger the more he kept looking at the man next to him. He didn’t notice before but Allen was talking and Michael wasn’t paying attention.

“If you take me up to fly again like you promised, I’ll tell you more than that about the stars.” Michael knew he had lost a chunk of information but his mind was wise enough to come back to the conversation - or actually, a monologue - at that point.

“It’s a deal, then.”

“And you’ll teach me more about psychology. You’ve been studying that for years, right?”

“Yes but I’m not that knowledgeable about the subject.” As usual, Michael tried to downplay the level of his intelligence. He knew he shouldn’t do that but it was stronger than him, especially next to a man as bright as Allen.

“You know a lot more than me.” Allen answered, holding Michael’s hand. _Oh God, please don’t do that. It’s just the alcohol in your system guiding you._

“Of course not.” Michael laughed softly and moved his hand, trying to get away from Allen’s hold but Allen didn’t let him go. They couldn’t be doing this here, not in public with people and their families here. Imagine the level of outrage, what that would do to Project Blue Book and their careers, Allen’s family.

Michael turned away and noticed they were already reaching the ground, the Ferris wheel moving slowly now. Allen let go of his hand and cleared his throat. “Ok, I’ll teach you a little about psychology.” Michael said and he nudged Allen to get out of the cabin when it came to a full stop.

“Great. Now let’s eat.”

Allen marched towards a hot dog stand and Michael had to practically run to catch up with him. “Allen, wait.”

“Whenever I drink, I get starved.” Allen whispered to Michael once they had catched up. “It’s annoying but…”

 _Imagine if you were stoned, Allen._ Michael watched as Allen ordered two hot dogs for himself and one for him.

“Do you want another one to take to the hotel?” Michael asked as he watched Allen eat one hot dog in a heartbeat. The professor stopped for a moment thinking, his mouth full of bread and sausage, and nodded positively.

The captain ordered another hot dog and paid for them while Allen devoured the second one. Michael looked at him wide-eyed, the need to burst out laughing so intense, and Allen looked at him apologetically. “No problem, doc. Eat your stuff in peace.”

They went back to the hotel only after Allen decided he wanted to try shooting at prizes in the target practice boot, got a giant teddy bear from it and made a child cry because she wanted it too. They had to give the teddy bear to the child, which made Allen sad and forced Michael to go back there, and win something for him. It was only a Mickey Mouse plush toy but Allen clung to it on the whole ride back. Damn if that didn’t make Michael smile like an idiot.

Allen sat on the floor with his other hot dog and Michael grabbed a flashlight, sitting right beside him. He switched off the lamp beside the bed and the darkness welcomed them.

“I can’t see the food.” Allen complained but Michael switched on the flashlight, pointing the light to the wall.

“Look.” Michael did a mouth with his hand, putting it in front of the light. “My name is General Harding and I’m in charge of Project Blue Book.” His voice was a bit thicker as he tried to imitate his superior. “Quinn, get Hynek, go to this city and solve this mess.”

Allen was trying to control the giggle that escaped his mouth. He approached Michael and made a little mouth with his hand too, placing it in front of the light. “We’ve seen these strange things and everybody is going insane.” Allen did a thin voice and Michael laughed out loud. “It’s only a weather balloon.” His voice got thick again and Michael narrowed his eyes, knowing he was imitating him.

“It’s not a weather balloon, Michael, the math says otherwise and I’ll spend the whole afternoon making these calculations on a napkin to prove it to you.” Michael saw Allen laughed loudly while he imitated Allen’s quirks. He made a motion to adjust imaginary glasses.

“Ahhhhh crazy locals, crazy locals.” Michael’s voice got thin again, trying to sound desperate and Allen had a fit of laughter.

“I-It’s- ahhh it’s the Russians!!” Allen said, panicking, and he moved wildly his fingers in front of the light as if it were desperate people.

They both laid on the floor laughing and Michael pointed the light to the ceiling. “Ooohhhh!” He closed his hand and tried to do something that reminded roughly a spaceship. “We are coming to take over this planet!”

Allen laughed, “We are little green men!!!” He sounded so ridiculous that Michael had a fit of laughter too, rolling over to the other side.

“That was awful.” Michael said and he felt Allen rolling over to him too. He froze.

“Can I tell you something?”

“Go ahead, doc.”

“Allen.” He corrected.

“Allen.” Michael accepted, smirking.

“I think Mimi is going to leave me.” At that, Michael turned to look at him. He didn’t sound too upset, he actually seemed quite alright with it.

“Why is that?”

“I think our marriage went cold. She has been spending more time with her new friend… Well, I don’t even know if they are just friends.”

Michael raised one eyebrow, “Meaning?” He knew what he meant.

“You know what I’m talking about.” There was a bit of edge in his voice and Michael recognized it. It was about that day they shared a kiss, that now became their shared secret and probably what would eventually break Michael’s heart and draw them apart.

“Um, so how are you feeling about that?” He thought this would be the nice thing to ask.

Allen shrugged, “I love her but I think I’m going to be just fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Don’t worry.” Allen smiled and touched Michael’s arm. The professor lazily caressed him, closing his eyes and slowly drifting away. Michael wanted to scream, to cry, to run away and to kiss the man in front of him with all the strength he had, all at the same time.

“Let me help you get to bed, Allen.”

Michael wanted to share the bed with Allen and feel his warmness while he spooned him but it would only make things worse and Allen would be upset when he woke up on the next day. The last thing Michael wanted was to ruin their relationship. He cared for the professor more than he could put into words.

Almost 5 minutes after Allen had been put to bed and he was snoring loud, sprawled between the sheets. _Oh well, there it goes the romance and the cuteness_. Michael laughed and turned around in his cold empty bed.

**Author's Note:**

> If you wanna have a chat, leave suggestions, ask for prompts or simply leave a message, I have a [tumblr!](http://mrs-pennylane.tumblr.com/)


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